In Search of the Pangasinense

A bullet-hole on a bronze plaque.

That seems to be the only physical evidence of the horrors that once ravaged the capital, if not the entire province, during the Second World War. If one would look at the Capitol Complex now, one would never imagine that such an event took place.

Magnificent structures, sprawling grounds with lush and abundant greenery, picturesque beaches with sparkling waters and the blue sky overhead—the Capitol Complex would take your breath away.

But the breath catches in my chest and it feels heavy. I am overcome by sadness.

The Capitol Complex has become the symbol of pride and progress of our beloved Pangasinan. And rightfully so. We have come a long way, and Pangasinan being one of the best provinces in the country, we have much to be proud of. The Provincial Capitol building is a proud testament to the re-emergence of the Pangasinan spirit. But as I touch the bullet-hole on one of its commemorative plaques, this question rang with a defeaning echo in my mind, “Who are we as a people?”

 The building itself is of neo-classic design. The rear portion is reminiscent of the White House. Even the emblem on the topmost portion of the façade is similar to that of the seal of the United States. Intimidating statues of eagles guard the buttresses of the building. American. Where is the Filipino influence? More importantly, WHERE IS THE PANGASINENSE?

My walk around the Capitol Complex reminded me of our family trip in Sagada. The municipality has the modern amenities of a widely-known tourist spot but you can feel their indigenous culture permeating through its every structure, street, caves, fields and people. 

Our then tourist guide good-naturedly pointed out that unlike ours, their traditional customs had not only survived, but have also been preserved well and have been successful in integrating with the modern way of life without much conflict.

The colonization of our province left us with great institutional and structural legacies but with little cultural awareness.

This disturbs me somehow. Because cultural identity fosters unity, dignity, and reinforces pride—the kind that drives one to give one’s best, not only for oneself but to give something back to where one came from as well. Cultural identity spells success.

And yet…and yet I cannot help but to feel hope. 

The Provincial Capitol Building is indeed a powerful symbol. For no matter how bad it had gone to ruin during the war and had been damaged over the years, it remained standing, proud and defiant against the disasters that plagued it. And now it has become more resplendent than ever.  The Pangasinense spirit had not been annihilated.

The bullet-hole on the plaque that commemorates its construction is a testament to our broken past. One we can never get back. But I’d like to think that through the increasing awareness on local tourism, we are able to recapture and recreate an identity of our own. A mix of the few remaining pieces of the past, forged with modern views and with the emerging trends and practices that are uniquely bred in Pangasinan.

I traced the bullet-hole on the plaque again. But this time I smiled.